“send me”

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These past few weeks I’ve just been, I guess, waiting, listening, straining, wrestling- trying to   know if I’m to go and where I’m to go on an overseas mission trip. I’ve already applied for a mission trip to New York this summer but my heart longs to go internationally. I don’t know when or how or where I could do but I know that my desire is to go. I feel led to Africa, maybe Zambia? but I’m just not sure.

Like- over these past few months the Lord has increasingly brought missionary families to us from Uganda and Tanzania. This past spring break, I was interested in going on a mission trip to East Africa, but wasn’t able to.

And the Lord has not let my desire to go overseas die. I asked the Lord to strip my desire away if this was not what I need to do, basically, and here I am, longing to go still. In David Platt’s book, Follow Me, it kind of talks about how we as Christians are officially called to go. Look in Matthew 28: 18-20, Acts 1: 8- we are called to go. Why stay? Once I heard a missionary say something like this: If you know you’re supposed to stay, then stay, and if not, GO.” That is what I want to do!

God gave us the Holy Spirit for a reason and if you look in the Bible ( as Platt’s book ” Follow Me” lays out) the Holy Spirit is closely connected to speaking the truth of the gospel. One of my equipping group leaders said something like this- ” Should Americans get to hear the gospel twice before others get to hear it even once?”

So, I don’t know if the Lord would have me go this summer, sometime this year, next year, or is He just stirring up a desire for the future? I kind of feel like I’m in a story and just waiting for the last chapter to be read. I’m waiting and expecting the Lord, who is so good, to show up in marvelous ways. Wherever the Lord wants, that’s where I want to go and that’s where I want to want to go. Wherever and whatever circumstances the Lord wants me in is so good, because He is so good.

I’m trying to hold tight to the permanent in this life. The Lord, who is unchanging, gave up His son to die for us and rose again and that is a story worth telling. Pray that I would wait patiently on the Lord, and that He would work it out for only His glory.



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